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Post by Eʟʏsɪᴜᴍ Pʀᴏ on Oct 10, 2017 12:45:34 GMT -8
[Single Match]
Deus vs. K-Remix
Deadline: Friday October 20th, 2017 at 11:59pm EST
Limits: 2 Promos of 1000 Words Each [Maximum]
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Post by Deus on Oct 12, 2017 10:06:40 GMT -8
Occupants on the third floor of the Hilton Boston Logan Airport Hotel heard the smashing of glass, growling, angry shouting, thumping, and loud banging for five minutes before several complaints were phoned in to the front desk.
A manager, muttering under his breath at whoever booked the room to a ‘wrestler’, rode the elevator to the third floor and quietly waved several concerned occupants back inside their rooms before authoritatively knocking on the door, readying a good talking-to to this “Deus” who booked the room.
The door opened a crack to reveal the well made-up face of a woman. Not what the manager expected.
“H-hi. Doose?”
“I’m sorry! My name is Thirteen.”
“Slit his fucking throat,” came the growl behind her. The hotel manager narrowed his eyes suspiciously and tried to peek inside the room.
“Everything okay in here? We’ve received several noise complaints.”
She smiled innocently.
“Everything’s fine. Just had the television too loud.”
The manager insisted on walking through the hotel room as a preemptive measure. Nothing amiss, though he did hover over the metal mask parked on the nightstand and swore to himself a lamp had been there previously, but thought better of asking about it, or why the television wasn’t on. The manager left semi-satisfied, and Thirteen closed the door after hanging a Do-Not-Disturb sign on the handle.
“I’ll fucking kill Shido,” Came the angry growl of Deus.
“See? You’re thinking too much like a murderer and not enough like a competitive wrestler. That won't work in this industry.”
Thirteen lectured, spying Deus seated like a ball of rage on the nightstand with clenched fists.
“Good point. I’ll pull out Shido's spine for making me make that mistake.”
Thirteen inhaled sharply and sat down on the bed.
“Okay, look, you lost a match you could have easily won. It happens to even the best of us. It happens to even me!”
“No,” came the dark reply. “I need a stronger body, something more capable than the likes of you. A loss to something as pitiful as Shido is unacceptable.” The shadow tilted its ominous head towards her, “you’re weak.”
Weeks living with this thing, Thirteen felt her confidence in the face of it brimming given that for a change, Deus had to contend with the unthinkable: defeat.
“Look, it’s not that bad, okay? People lose matches all the time! Like K-Remix for instance!” Thirteen said brightly.
“Who? What the fuck is a K-Remix?” Deus grumpily sat on the nightstand like a brooding, reflecting god.
“K-Remix! Your next opponent! He’s lost lots of times!” Thirteen responded cheerily. “And yet, still, he comes back to fight. It’s inspiring! He’s full of hot takes! Haven't found any funny ones yet, but it's all part of the dance!”
“I’ll smash him,” Deus intoned instinctively.
“That’s the ticket!” Thirteen stood up in full-on pep-talk mode, not used to seeing a more introspective side of her darkside avatar. “More of that! It’s as simple as picking yourself up and getting right back at it, a better, meaner, stronger, more vengeful rage demon than before!” She’d done it plenty of times during her own career, so this pep talk felt incredibly natural.
“Then I’ll rip out his throat and feed it back to him.”
“Righ—no. Wait. No. You’re going about this the wrong way. You can’t go around threatening to rip people’s throats out.”
“Why?”
Thirteen blinked.
“Because this is wrestling. You need to take a look at your opponent--.”
“K-Remix.” Deus hummed thoughtfully.
“Exactly! You’re doing so well. Now analyze him.”
“What’s to analyze? This man is Plexiglas. You break it and they put it back together with no improvement in the design. Not smart. There’s nothing to him. I break Plexiglas."
"That's great!" Thirteen encouraged. "What else?"
Deus breathed deeply.
"Remixes are never better than the original. Ask this kid’s dad. I’ll tear his eyes out and make him watch me beat his son to death.” Deus clutched its fist at the ready. Thirteen found herself blinking quietly at the mention of non-wrestler-like violence.
“O—Okay. That’s a start.” She chuckled uncomfortably. “We just gotta work on your technique. Get you some fundamentals.”
“You’re going to help me.” Deus growled.
“Well, obviously! You can’t go anywhere without me,” Thirteen quipped, chuckling at herself before Deus’ fist thumped angrily against the wall.
“I need to beat K-Remix. Show me how. This kid’s a stain. If he beats me, what does that say of me, of us?” Thirteen hid her frown behind a thoughtful sigh and furtive glance around the room, at the television stand where, inside, she’d stashed the smashed lamp, and hid the broken plates from Deus’ temper tantrum.
“Okay, so listen. K-Remix just lost a chance to win a title in one of his several federations, okay? He’s probably going to want to come out for this match guns a’ blazing after he lost his match against Elina Cartel in Ascent on an event the same night as Frontline where he beat Ashe Corvin, so it was a mixed bag for him--”
“Two events in one night?” Deus whispered to itself. “Incredible. He wrestles in two states? This must be a trans-dimensional being… Not to be taken lightly.”
Thirteen’s eyes drifted away from the angry shadow of Deus not wanting to break it from its philosophical ruminations.
“Right. Absolutely. Take this kid as seriously as he takes himself, except when he’s on twitter or anywhere that’s not a wrestling ring.”
“But he loses in wrestling rings more often than he wins...” Deus surmised with confusion.
“Exactly!” Thirteen exclaimed. “Exactly. And that’s the paradox of K-Remix we’re going to have to unravel.”
“Together.” Deus added, slowly rising off the nightstand.
“Right,” Thirteen nodded. “Let’s check out of here and get to Seattle.”
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Post by K-Remix on Oct 15, 2017 20:53:45 GMT -8
First of all, a remix is never better than the original? Uh… Remix to Ignition. California Love. Summertime Sadness. E.T.
And that’s just off the top of my head. Step ya remix game up you period cramps incarnate motherfucker. As you can tell “okay, let's do this” is my reaction to the fact that I’m fighting a rage demon. Or a chaos monster, Mr. Boogie Oogie, the ghost of periods past. Or whatever the fuck Deus would like to be called. What? Was I supposed to have more of a shocked reaction to that news? Apparently you guys don’t pay attention but I do. I watch wrestling all the time, even federations I’m not in. Quite honestly it makes me feel like Don King. Except I’m not yelling “only in America”, oh no. What I’m yelling is “only in the wrestling business”. At first I watched a few matches and saw some weird shit. So, I thought nothing of it and kept going on about my life. However, the shit I see keeps getting weirder and weirder. So, when I hear that I’m booked against a rage demon it no longer surprises me. Hell you could tell me that I’m wrestling the spirit of Michael Jackson and I wouldn’t bat an eye. It is what it is, there’s a whole lot of crazy shit going on. You might as well just strap in and enjoy the ride.
As if fighting a chaos monster wasn’t enough, I’m about to agree with one. He needs a stronger vessel because Thirteen just ain’t cutting it. You’d think that somebody supplying Deus with information would you know….. Make sure that the information is correct. I mean according to her I beat Ashe Corvin last week. Now it’s not like this match happened a long time ago. Nor was it in another federation where she actually had to look for the results. This was on Frontline, LAST WEEK. Yes, Frontline, where I beat Jonathan Cage. Come on now, how can you confuse Jonathan Cage with Ashe Corvin? One of them looks like he’s trying to join ICP while the other looks like Voldemort. One of them is Marcia Brady while the other one is CLEARLY Jan. With that kind of incompetence fueling him, it’s no wonder that Deus lost to SHIDO.
The incompetence didn’t stop there however. You said I’ve lost lots of matches? LOTS OF MATCHES!?!?!? I’m honestly not even mad. This is just downright laughable at this point. I’ve lost three whole matches. I walked into Defiant Wrestling a month and a half ago. That’s when my career started. In that time I’ve joined other federations as well. That has pushed my match total to nine matches. I have a 6-3 record in case you were too incompetent to figure that shit out too. Obviously I was shooting for 9-0 but shit happens and here I stand 6-3. That’s still pretty lit. You said it yourself Thirteen, people lose matches all the time. Nobody can say that they’ve never failed at something. Monkey’s fall from trees, birds fly into windows, and Deus loses to Shido. We spend most of our lives going through a process of trial and error in order to improve. The wrestling business is no different. The scary part is what I said in the beginning. My career is about a month and a half old. I’m still at the beginning of my process.
Deus, Thirteen, perhaps you don’t see the improvements I’m making but I’m improving all time. Then again, one of you saw me beat Ashe Corvin last week apparently. So perhaps we shouldn’t be trusting your opinions on things. Where you see Ashe Corvin? It’s actually Jonathan Cage. Where you see Plexiglas reassembled with no improvements? It’s actually Kintsugi. Yeah, I’ve lost a few times. Been “broken” as you put it. However I’m not the same when I put myself back together. In the end, I’m better because I was broken. Maybe either one of you would be able to see that if your heads weren’t crammed up each other’s asses. Or would that mean that you’d be shoving your head up your own ass? See, these are the important questions. Hey, you like to do stuff like digging up dead bodies and taking shits in your promos right? How about literally shoving your heads up each other’s asses? We’d all like to get a nice visual of how that goes down. Plus I’m fairly positive that even if you pulled that off, the two of you still wouldn’t be able to see shit.
Chaos monster, rage demon, or Casper the friendly fucking ghost. It makes no difference to me. At the end of the day I’m going to do what I always do. Any guesses on what that might be Deus? I fucking wrestle. In front of big crowds, in bingo halls, and in the damn street if need be. I fucking wrestle. What motivates me? Being the best wrestler that I can be. Ulterior motives? Topping my father’s legacy as a wrestler. I don’t need to rip your throat out. I don’t need to threaten you with death. All I need to do is step inside that ring and beat you. It’s that fucking simple. The dance as you call it? I’ve seen plenty of people doing that same two-step that you like to do. When the dance is over it all comes back to what you can do inside that ring. As unstable as you are and as ill prepared as you’ve proven to be. It seems like the only dance I’ll need to do is called the cake walk.
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Post by Deus on Oct 16, 2017 14:47:48 GMT -8
“You call this match against me a ‘cakewalk’.
You’d refuse to take me seriously, instead preferring to spend your precious time on semantic arguments about the quality of the remix. You’d drop a mic over how much better than the original whatever the fuck songs you listed were without proof other than your own subjective say so. People bought Pet Rocks in the 70s, kid, just because they buy it doesn’t mean it’s worth a damn.
So this is what I’m dealing with, a kid who argues the most foolishly wasteful points, picking at the scraps I leave behind as I improve myself.
You repeat yourself to the point it’s not a remix, it’s a remake. Sure, you’ve upped the treble, maybe pumped the bass, but you still sound like the same old shit that’s been coming out of your mouth since you first dabbed your way down to greet the crowd at DWF’s The Bash to tell ‘the haters’ they could store their opinions in the same place they store their heads, up their asses. Heard that before?
I suspect DWF finds its defunct name upon your lips so often because you mustered your first championship win there. You’ve spoken of this victory of yours in DWF in which you won the Titan Championship ever since it happened with flowers blossoming and birds chirping, and the universe being made whole.
Since it's so important to you, let’s talk about that.
You faced Cyrus Riddle. A tough customer, or, at least, he used to be. By the time the opening bell for this match had rung the only one of the two of you who had bothered to mention the match was you. That night you beat a man who showed up in name only, a shell of his former self.
And you call this match with me a cakewalk?
Before that you fought and defeated Nora Harris who didn’t so much as bat an eyelash on camera before you faced her.
Now, I like your strategy, kid. It’s nothing new. You look for weaknesses, and wait for your opponent to make a mistake and then you exploit that mistake.
You’re right, I said the wrong name. You faced Jonathan Cage last Frontline, whereas Ashe Corvin’s name was mistakenly mentioned.
You devoted a lot of time to this, so I decided to pay some of my own time to rectify that mistake.
You faced Jonathan Cage in a match that must’ve looked awfully familiar. This man couldn’t be bothered to show his face to promote your match till the last minute, instead spending his time in a hot tub. I’d argue you faced half a man at Frontline II, hardly the same Jonathan Cage who I remember standing at the top of his game in eWo years back.
And so I made a mistake in failing to pay much attention to a lopsided match barely worth mentioning in which you defeated half a man, a match just like that title match you’re so proud of back in DWF.
Mistake rectified, kid.
Now, after you so casually pointed to the speck of dust in my eyes, the lone error in my vision of you, lets look at the fucking log jammed in yours.
If I’m a cakewalk by comparison to everything else you’ve faced, then you are underestimating me.
You'll regret that.
A month into your career and you’re heading into a massacre; pointing at that one mistake of mine as you make three of your own.
It’s fine, I don’t need you to see a threat. See a Rage Demon, see Casper, see whatever you want cause what you’re not seeing is one of the few opponents you’ve faced willing to hype a match with you as much, and more than you, shithead.
What’s more? I see you better than you see me.
Heads up our asses, huh? Better Thirteen’s head up my ass, and mine up hers than your head up your own ass with your dad standing by to tell you you’re doing it wrong.
You’re making a mistake looking at Thirteen and Deus as if they’re separate, debating the semantic mechanics of how this whole thing works. Take your time, if these are your important questions, I’ll give you all the rope you need to hang yourself.
I’ll just point out how you’re making another mistake wanting to tout a pedigree, and a record that looks less impressive the closer you look at it.
Let’s compare.
Taken individually, Thirteen sports a win/loss record that tops yours hands down. 10-2 and 1 spread across Monarchy Wrestling, 4CW, and Boardwalk.
If this were just you and her she would annihilate you, you arrogant dumpster stain.
Now I, more humbly, if I’m counting, sport a record of 5 and 2. A better average than what you’re sporting, champ.
Combine the two into one and what you’ll see before you in Washington is a wrestler who outmatches you in both name and deed.
You’ve been at this a month, and won a title in an event that won’t be broadcast by a federation that no longer exists against a man who couldn’t be bothered to say your name. Here that win means nothing. Don’t list your month-old record here. Don’t play up your history unless you want it spit back at you.
Here in Elyisum it’s an even field between us, no matter the verbal gymnastics and remixing of old ideas you churn out.
It’s just you doing what you do, and me doing what I do.
By all means keep cake-walking kid.
Pay no attention to the fucking train barreling down on you."
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Post by K-Remix on Oct 19, 2017 20:05:39 GMT -8
In this world you can believe that people are who they tell you they are. Or you can believe that people are who they show you they are. If you murder somebody in front of witnesses. Then you're a murderer. People saw what you did. Afterward you're just running your mouth so that you don't have to face the consequences. You already showed who you were. In Deus’ world? Apparently that isn't the case. Forget the man eating paste and jerking off behind the curtain. I'M THE GREAT AND POWERFUL DEUS! Not that I blame him, not even rage demons want to look completely incompetent.
Wrestling isn’t just about speed, power, endurance, or technical ability. The mental aspect also plays a big part in it. That’s why we do the research. It’s so that we can try to get that mental edge. So that we can be one step ahead of the competition. That's also why people play mind games. If you can get someone mentally off of their game even the slightest bit. That could be the difference between victory and defeat. All it takes is one mistake.
So, when you step into the ring with somebody like Deus. Somebody that can barely keep control. What should you do? Be Dee Dee from Dexter’s lab. PUSH ALL THE BUTTONS! As you can tell by Deus’ second promo. I’m a master at pushing all the buttons. He went full on little kid throwing himself on the ground at Walmart level of hissy fit. What was the main thing that set him off though? It was because I said that this match was looking like a cake walk.
UNDERESTIMATION! THE FILTHY REMIXES! HE UNDERESTIMATES US! DIRTY, STUPID, REMIXES!
Try not to think about Golem the next time Deus screams “RIP HIS THROAT OUT”. Which he will because it happens CONSTANTLY. But yes, let's talk about a comment I made a month ago that was remotely similar to one I made this week. Hypocrisy much? Regardless, let’s get back to this cake walk thing. Isn’t it funny how one comment I made could generate a metric shit ton of sand in Deus' vagina? Yet here I am shrugging my shoulders after his last promo. I guess it goes to show who’s really leading this “dance”. Especially when you get a fucking rage demon to try and play the victim. What did I say in the beginning? You can believe that people are who they say they are. Or you can believe that people are who they show you they are. In his first promo Deus showed the world exactly who he was.
“Who? What the fuck is a K-Remix?”
“He’s lost lots of times”
“This man is Plexiglas”
“If he beats me, what does that say of me, of us?”
“He loses in wrestling rings more often than he wins…”
What I saw in Deus was an opponent who was easily pushed into angry outbursts. Who was prone to making mistakes. Who made it very clear that he was incompetent. And that he’d rather spout falsehoods than actually do research. An opponent quite frankly who was underestimating ME! So, when I said that this was looking like a cake walk. That wasn’t underestimation. It was more like a performance review and it was spot on. That’s why it scared him to death. That’s why it forced him to react like he did. That's also why he seemed so desperate to save facemask in that last promo.
Yeah, I threw that jab. You going to cry about that one too? Go ahead Deus, get upset. Think about the heads in asses joke which was CLEARLY lost on you just like all the others were. Think about how you fail to process both comedy and sarcasm so now everybody is laughing at you. Think about how my last promo made you feel like I touched your demonic no no place. Think about the fact that I addressed you and Thirteen separately. Think about how it made you mad because me doing so undermines everything about you. Think about how I’ve been calling you a male all this time. Yeah, I’m the millennial but you’re the type of little snowflake who will meltdown over being misgendered. Fuck your preferred pronouns cupcake.
Then there's the matter of the information you dug up on me. First of all honey-bunch, who said that you were a cake walk IN COMPARISON to anything? You were using a bullshit premise from the start. However, that's what people like you do. You don't think things through. You get pushed and you react irrationally. Then all you end up doing is making mistakes. Like proving your opponent’s point for them. Don't believe me?
Look at what you laid out in your last promo. Cyrus Riddle, Nora Harris, and Jonathan Cage. None of them gave a shit about promoting our match. All of them looked like they were going through the motions. Yet, you think that diminishes me? How easy would it have been to play down to their level? It happens all the time. People lose that way all the time. That's REAL underestimation. That doesn't happen to me. Each match was lopsided in my favor. Do you want to know why that was Deus? It's because I saw their weaknesses and IT CHANGED NOTHING! Not once has anybody told me that I need to bring my A game. That's a foregone conclusion. Blood, sweat, and swag. If I'm in that ring then it's 110% every time. You'd know that if you REALLY knew ANYTHING about me. Yet, you assumed that me calling you a cake walk meant I didn't see you as a threat. That I wasn't brining everything I had. No, it meant the way YOU were underestimating ME was going to turn this into another lopsided match. Nothing has changed.
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