Jake Archer vs. Seth Gile

"The GOAT" himself, Mr. Make Archer, is standing in front of the Elysium Pro logo with a look of false modesty on his face.

A wise man once asked me, "Jake Archer, you sexy beast, what's it like being the best?"

And I looked right back in the mirror and I said, "It's a gift and a curse, but none carry it better."

Elysium Pro, I don't think you understand just how truly lucky you are. I mean, you and you alone can claim to host the best wrestler on the planet. You've got exclusive rights, which means that the only place to see greatness it's to watch Elysium Pro. You can't say the same about Erik Holland, and as much as I may appreciate his work, you can't say the same about K-Remix. In fact, I'm sure if you look through the list of talent, I'm the only one that can say that he is exclusive to Elysium Pro.

And what do I get in thanks? Oh, I get ridiculed on Twitter by that stupid intern Maurice. I have Holland and his little girlfriend claim that she somehow beat me. I have to deal with injustice after injustice, and a lesser man would have walked away. But there's a reason why Jake Archer is the best, and that's because I can rise above adversity and continue showing these fans what a true Superstar supposed to look like.

OK, I'm pretty sure that's not a look of false modesty on his face. Jake Archer actually believes this.

Now, as the one true Superstar here in Elysium, I have taken it upon myself to show the world how great I can be. And what better way, I thought, then take down the only group in Elysium Pro single-handedly? That is why I am embarking on what I like to call, The Badd Hunter Tour 2017!

Archer holds his arms up in the air, as if he's displaying it on a marquee.

You see, it's no secret that the Badd Breed and I don't really get along too well. They think I'm cocky, arrogant, full of myself, not as talented as I think I am, and most certainly not the goat. Well they're all wrong and they're stupid, so I'm taking it upon myself to show you how great I am. This was supposed to start at Wide Awake, however I was cheated out of my rightful victory by the cheater known as Tiami Erickson. She has the nerve to act as though she won some hard-fought contest, when all she did was kick me in the face and run into the ring like a coward. She knew she couldn't beat me the conventional way, and she knew that I would never submit to her, so she took the easy way out. And if this isn't indicative of the Badd Breed as a whole, I don't know what it is. They seem to be fine taking wins wherever they can get them, and in Jake Archer's Elysium Pro, that just won't stand!

Seth, you have the worst luck of anyone on the roster, because you're facing a fired-up Jake Archer. A Jake Archer who has made it his mission to take down the Breed one by one, a group to happen to be a part of. You've chosen to follow Holland like a blind little soldier, and now you're about to find out that there are repercussions for your actions. Jake Archer, the Badd Hunter, it is going to show the world exactly what he's capable of when I beat you in the ring and make it 1-0 against your little ragtag group. It's nothing too personal, you just happen to be standing in the way of my greatness, and that's not something I can let it happen.

So wave your Badd Breed flag high in the air, believe that you're fighting for some noble cause. Because when I superkick you in the mouth and get the win, you're going to know that you didn't just lose to any wrestler. You lost to

THE BEST!
THE BEST!
THE BEST!
THE BEST!

Archer continues to chant as we slowly fade out.