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Post by Eʟʏsɪᴜᴍ Pʀᴏ on Feb 27, 2018 10:14:53 GMT -8
SUMMIT SERIES - IRON BLOCK
Iron Championship
[Iron Rules Match]
Jake Archer vs. F.M. Young (c)
Deadline: Friday March 9th, 2018 at 11:59pm EST
Limits: 2 Promos of 1000 Words Each [Maximum]
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Post by F.M. Young on Mar 8, 2018 11:02:26 GMT -8
Sloan's standing in front of the camera, in a killer red dress, spaghetti strap, thigh-high slit, embossed pattern, the whole nine yards. Kiss me blood red lipstick, sis on smirking lips and the manager seems unusually chipper today. “Burgundy. Please, God, tell me I have not inspired something burgundy. Red. Red. Red. Red, Charlie boy. Red! Is the color of sex! Burgundy is the color of hot water bottles! Red is the color of sex and fear and danger and signs that say, Do. Not. Enter. All my favorite things in life.”
She smirks even wider and gives a little twirl that makes the bottom of her dress flare out. “Are you quoting Kinky Boots?”
Comes FM Young's voice off the side, the big woman comes into frame, drying her dark hair with a towel that drapes over her chest and barely covers her. She grins at the camera, chuckling. “I thought I was gonna have to wait until late tonight to get to peel you out of that dress, but hey I'll take a pleasant surprise.”
Sloan blows a kiss, shaking her head. “Tempting, Habibi, but we've been busy all week. I had a moment and I needed to take the time to address Jake Archer.”
FM look's at the camera and grins, teasing dropping the towel. Sloan sighs and tosses a bundle of clothes at her that the Amazon catches. “Go get dressed, and please back out of the room. I'd rather not share that much of you with the rest of the world.”
“Of course. Mi Amada.”
FM walks a few paces back into the bathroom and shuts the door. Sloan looks back at the camera, picking up her phone. “Jake Archer again, I'll give it to the boy for his tenacity it's kind of cute. Listen Greatkeeper, lately, you've been trying to get on the Amazon's good side. I don't know what game you're playing, but I'm going to draw your attention to what happened to Helena Handbasket last week. Any mercy you think familiarity grants you, doesn't add up too much at all. You seem to know that don't you and before you go protesting I'm going to point out this tweet.”
Sloan taps a couple of buttons on her Iphone, in the pink glitter tough case. She holds the phone screen up to the camera.  The woman in red puts her phone away and looks at the camera again. “Awww, look at the adorable little guy, practically begging not to be hurt. Listen, whatever favor you've been currying worked. We've talked it over and I'm standing in here in this come fuck me dress, that's working by the way. In A small town just outside of Phoenix Arizona, FM's hometown, waiting to go to a fancy dinner and I'm going to offer you a deal. FM love's her job, she loves to fight and believe it or not she loves putting on a show, so what I'm telling you, Satyrface is, just enjoy the match. Just go out there with your big boy boots on and put on a fun show. Don't worry about winning, you can't. I know it, The One Woman Army knows it, the audience knows it and most importantly, you know it. For some reason, Finale has chosen to gift wrap FM's fifth title defense. Probably because he's excited to have found his brother, his roster is thin, and aside from the Iron Championship, his title scenes are a mess. FM Young is one of the few people on this roster holding things down, and you Jake Archer aren't going to stop that.”
Sloan picks up her purse and starts to touch up her make up using the camera to do so. “You've built up some credibility with your oafish antics, you've beaten a couple of heavy-handed rookies. You can't go like the Amazon can and you don't seem to want too. So just go out there, do some of your little flips and you won't get hurt. Play nice, and do your best to be entertaining, you can be entertaining, or at least people tend to laugh a lot when you're around. If you push, if your easy time gives you any idea's of winning, if those thoughts of stardom get in your eyes...You will get hurt and that's the polite way of putting it. It's more accurate to say you will get crushed, you thought botching those flips and landing on your head was bad? You'll wish FM would just spike you like a football and get it over with. If you have any plans on trying to keep up with the One Woman Army, then my next bit of managerial advice is to have someone standing by to throw the towel in for you. Because forfeit will be the only thing that's going to stop the mauling. FM Young did not come this far, just get this far, she's not shooting for the moon just to hit the stars. This is the first match of the Summit Series, and her fifth title defense, either way, this is her road to Elysium's big belt, the top throne and you Jake Archer are but a bump in the road, a minor threat. So take the deal, go out there, thump the side of your head a bit, shout THE BEST like a retarded monkey, but don't get any idea's and you'll get to live.”
FM comes out of the bathroom, wearing a dark tux and red vest, hair slicked back. “Red, right?”
Sloan smiles and beckons her over. “It's perfect.”
Sloan reaches up to put FM's tie on, FM reaches over to shut the camera off and the screen fades to black.
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Post by F.M. Young on Mar 9, 2018 18:18:39 GMT -8
The Camera opens on F.M. Young standing in the middle of a small and quiet street, in a quiet little trailer park, in front of a small single wide trailer. Sloan reaches out and touches her shoulder with a nod, causing F.M. to look up from her own phone.
“Huh? Oh, yeah I'm gonna head inside, I was just catching up on some things. Like that press release Filth Murphy leaked, did you see that?”
Sloan chuckled and nodded.
“Who do you think gave it to him? Rule number one, when stirring up controversy always have a stupid patsy at hand. Finale offered me the GM position, apparently, I'm the closest thing to the actual devil he could find without a ritual sacrifice.”
F.M laughed, her head tilting back.
“You don't seem to upset by that comparison.”
Sloan clicked her tongue with a grin and a wink.
“I kinda like it, either ay that's a conversation for another day. You go on, have your moment I'll be out here.”
F.M. nodded and mounted the steps, up onto a small porch with green old-school AstroTurf lining and a porch swing at one end. Sloan put the camera on the cast iron railing and sat down on the porch swing.
“This is Alexa's grandmother's house, where her father and grandmother lived. By all accounts, her mother was the better, more hands-on parent, but some things can't replace stability and this little place has been in her family for forty years. It means something to her to come back here, but I won't speak to thoroughly on that, Alexiana Markos is an intensely private woman. Which is why Ms. Vebbins did not last very long, the woman just could not keep her mouth shut and it made a laughing stock out of Alexa...Also a subject for another time.”
Sloan shifted her position on the porch swing and sighed at the cool breeze ruffling her hair.
“Alexa's hometown, though she's not expecting any kind of hero's welcome, she's always been the foreign kid and she knows it. Not Mexican but close enough that ignorant Arizonians don't care. Speaking of ignorance, and of handy stupid patsy's, that brings me nicely back to Jake Archer. Stupid and wrong am I, Jake? Oh yes, I saw that tweet, you do know those don't actually count toward your contractual obligations, don't you? I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't, I also wouldn't be surprised you if you actually thought could change reality just by denying it. That way madness lies, but I've already tried to give you some helpful advice and you threw it away. So be it, FM is looking to make a statement, and with Finale so focused on all things Kelly Godless reveal related. What better way to make a statement that makes him take notice than smashing his so-called Elysium roster favorite into a fine powder? You know she's fully capable of it, and you know she's entirely prepared to do it. We tried to offer you a deal a way to save your own skin, but as usual, you chose to be a learning disabled ape entirely willfully ignorant. Maybe you actually just can't hear anything over that brain tick you call a slogan? It's always so hard to tell with you, Mr. Token Charity Case.”
Alexa comes out of the house and blows out a breath that ruffles her hair.
“More Jake Archer? That's ok, I did what I needed to do, I can spare a couple of moments.”
Alexa sits down on the porch swing and looks around a touch wistfully, she reaches over and grabs an orange off the orange tree out of the frame and brings it back to peel it. Sloan nestles into the big woman's side while F.M. takes a moment to speak.
“I'm going to put this in terms you'll understand Jake. I'm like Goku, you're like Vegeta, it doesn't matter how hard you work, or what kind of hot streak you have. You're never going to close that gap, we had very similar rocky carriers when we both got to Elysium, but I've been on a winning streak since before your recent run of good luck and hard work. I started above you in skill, and all I've been doing is sharpening my teeth. Working, training, getting better. I work every show the same as you have, and no matter what kind of fortunate you're having now, you'll never catch up. Why? Because I haven't stopped running either, I've beaten the ever-loving piss out of everyone put in front of me to get this far, no matter who they were or how tough it was. I've beaten you twice already and the third time isn't going to be your luck. Consider it run out. I'm going to win this defense, and I'm going on to win Summit Series.”
F.M. took a bite of orange piece, then crushed the rest of the half-peeled orange in her hand with a sower of orange pulp and juice.
"No amount of respect I might hold for your persistence and work ethic is going to stop me from making your spleen look like this fruit if that's what it takes to win this match. I have more skill, and I'm just more brutal, I want you to think very hard about the last time you tried to cave my head in with a trash can lid, and how very little that did. Bring your BEST, because smashing you into a pulp they can serve backstage, is me one step closer to proving I'm #THEBEST.”
Sloan snickered, reaching out to take F.M. hands.
“DBZ, really? NEEERD!!”
Sloan imitated SuperkamiGuru and F.M. snorts, wrapping her up in her arms.
“I'll show you whose the nerd.”
"That doesn't even make sense!"
The camera shuts off as F.M. stands up holding Sloan, who is giggling and mock protesting.
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Post by Jake Archer on Mar 9, 2018 21:02:24 GMT -8
ou know what hurts?
"The GOAT" himself, Jake Archer, is standing in front of the Elysium Pro logo with his arms folded across his chest. Wearing a shirt that reads "Greater Than You", Archer shakes his head in disappointment.
I reached out my hand to you in friendship long before the announcement of Summit Series. I showered you in compliments, not in an attempt to get into your pants, but because I had thought we had built up a camaraderie. A real, solid friendship. So imagine my surprise when Sloan insults me for like, thirty solid minutes and you just stand there going "yeah, actually." Weeks of friendship, of solid back and forth, all gone because YOU have the temerity to basically say "Yeah, he's a dork." Honestly, I'd be hurt if I wasn't so angry.
See, I don't like most people because they simply aren't on my level. When you're
THE BEST
THE BEST
THE BEST
THE BEST
then people are naturally beneath you. And when they realize this, they get jealous and upset and irrationally take it out on you instead of trying to be better. You were someone who focused on yourself instead of trying to match my obvious greatness, and as a result you've managed to do quite well for yourself. Iron Champion, four successful defenses, and you've got Azzy following you like a cute little puppy, so honestly, congrats. Kinda jealous about that one, honestly.
The big problem is how I offer my hand in friendship for the first time, and you spit in my face and laugh. You're so obsessed with this stupid title and this series that you throw away any potential friendship that might have been building. So instead of a spirited competition between two friends, they're gonna see me superkick you into the goddamn dust! And once I chop you down to size with my sweet, sweet superkicks, I've got another one lined up for Little Miss Who Gives A Crap as well! Then we'll see who's condescending when I reign as YOUR Iron Champion!
Clearly he's lost in his own delusion, but given how angry he is right now, it's probably for the best to not mention it.
From there, I mean, it's just a matter of time until I'm holding the World Title.
See?
But first and obviously most importantly, it about your hero Jake Archer righting the wrongs and striking back against those who would besmirch his good name!
I entered this business to prove, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I was just as great as I proclaimed myself to be. Even as a child I knew I was head and shoulders above everyone else, and as I grew that feeling only intensified. Schoolwork? Top of the class, if you ignore second semester of junior year. Sports? Second wide receiver, a hundred yards a game. I excelled in spite of everyone telling me I wasn't good enough, I wasn't strong enough, I wasn't fast enough or smart enough or tall enough or tough enough because I. AM. THE GODDAMN BEST. And if they couldn't see that, then.... then screw them! I never needed those gigantic assholes anyway!
A profound silence falls as Archer stares angrily into the camera, eyes slowly watering.
I succeeded in spite of everyone telling me I would never amount to anything. I've proven that I'm the best time and time and time again, and each time I've done so despite everyone doubting me. All of Elysium likes to mock me, thinking they can just use "the best! the best! the best!" like it's some kind of stupid joke. Well we'll see who's laughing when I win the Summit Series as the Iron Champion and prove each and every one of you idiots wrong! With Elysium Title in one hand, Iron Championship in the other, I'm going to prove that I am, now and forever, the GREATEST. OF ALL. TIME! And none of you, especially FM Young, can stop me!
Any tears that may or may not have been there before are gone as Archer raises a single finger.
I came to you as a friend. I forgave you for spiking me like a football and recklessly trying to end my career, if not my life. I thought "hey, things have changed, maybe she's cool now." And I'll admit, you almost had me fooled. You almost pulled the wool over Jake Archer's eyes and made me take my guard down. Your only mistake was letting Sloan talk shit too much. You revealed your real feelings way too soon, and now that I'm not burdened by friendship, I'm free to kick you to size and then kick you some more. Every time you threw me across the ring, I remember. Every time you tried to cripple me, I remember. Every time you stole the victory away from me, every time you punched me with your huge fist, every time you laughed at my pain, I remember. And instead of letting that anger blind me, I'm going to use it against you. And as you're lying on the ground, unable to do anything but watch the NEW champion celebrate, just remember that you did this all to yourself.
And me? Well I'm clearly....
The Best.
Archer merely flips off the camera before storming off, leaving the scene.
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