AZURINE VEBBINS vs. KARA SCENE [Dark Match]

Dancin' Wid Fire

[Our scene opens with “The Adorkable Angel” standing in front of holographic projections of fire spinners. In light of recent events in California, she felt this would be a safer demonstration than actually performing the ritual herself. Vebbins is rocking a Lake Blue aramid fiber (the kind used for making kevlar clothing) dress. Azurine’s face is perpetually illuminated during the promotional material when two balls of simulated fire flash in front of it. In her elevated left hand so something else is displayed next to her lips is a single vanilla cupcake.]



Azurine Vebbins: Good mornin’, folk! No time for celebrations today, only enough to light dis candle. Appears I have a most combustible conga on Monday night when I step onto da dance floor wid Kara Scene. Real spitfire dat one. Granted, da only ones who will be blessed to view da spectacle are dose inside Elysium’s Sanctum Warehouse. It’s bein’ billed as a “Dark Match,” hence, why I’m broadcastin’ my promotional material here. Main reason I’m submittin’ dis for approval is to maintain my roster spot. Was mysteriously canned from one grapplin’ group, don’t want herstory repeatin’ itself. And you heard dat right since da sanctioned contest at Chapter Four will feature two dynamic women. Granted, deyr will be bigger herstory in da Main Event as my first ex faces my second ex to determine who will be da Elysium Heavyweight Champion of da World. All da same, I wish “Da Amoral Amazon” and “One-Woman Army” F.M. Young as well as “Da Heart of Infinity” Alyssa Daniels all da best. Bit surprised I wasn’t placed in a Special Guest Zebra position. Instead? I’m hypin’ up some-din’ only a clandestine conclave of chanters will witness.



All da same, da flamenco I plan to stomp out my foe shall be incendiary. Scene claims her fightin’ style is N.W.M. No Wasted Movement. Dat’s perfection. Stand still, take one Pearly Gatekeeper, and we can call it a night, smoke-show. Kara’s finisher is known as Rules of Attraction. Clearly someone hasn’t done deyr homework ’cause you and I are so similiar dat magnetically-speakin’...I find you repulsive. Gettin’ into my rhy-dim now as da flow artists behind continue spinnin’ fire while yours truly spits it. Perusin’ your profile, deyr’s one move you won’t be able to sign on da dotted line. Dat move is da Black Hole Sunset. Miss Scene, you’d have a better chance of dousin’ yourself and becomin’ a textbook exemplum of spontaneous combustion dan ever hittin’ a beautiful blaze of glory like dat. Deyr’s also da simple matter of counterin’ it wid a good old-fashioned Frankensteiner. Still, dig in your heels, Kara. You view da ability to “rage against da dyin’ of da light” as recantation more dan recitation. So, again, just smolder and may your heap of ashes nay transcend into a phoenix. Your body will be intact after da final bell, but your spirit? Dat’s what will be vaporized into da e-der once I make you see da warmin’, ever-glowin’ lights above you.



[The promotional material ends with “Da Damsel in Dat Dress” Azurine Vebbins snapping her right thumb and index finger. Everything else dissipates as she heads out to continue training for her Dark Match at Elysium Chapter IV.]