ATROPOS vs. AZURINE VEBBINS

So we've already established that Azurine Vebbins and I don't dislike each other. In fact, we've conceeded mutual respect. But as I've already told Vebby, I came to Elysium with a very specific mission, and I simply can't let her stand in the way of my setting out on that mission. I just can't have it.

And look, I'm not going to come out here and say all the things that everyone says about Vebby, except maybe one. I'm not going to focus on her strange fascination with obscure holidays or her habit of falling in and out of love. I won't comment on her far to open attitude about discussing the most intimate details of her private life on social media, or her apparent willingness to opine on anything that has nothing to do with her career as a professional wrestling. All of that has been covered before, by others, and there really is no point in rehashing it here and now.

However, there is one point that has been brought up about Vebby before, and it is worth mentioning. It's worth mentioning because it's the thing that I believe keeps her from reaching her full potential, the thing that keeps her floundering in the middle of the card, the thing that makes many of our peers question if she truly belongs in among the elite of our sport. See Vebby, you and I are very similar in many ways. We're both more friendly that many of our peers. We both respect the fans, the business and most of our co-workers. Both of us hold up our contractual obligations to promote our matches and we do so in a way that is becoming more and more rare... without sounding like total assholes. But that's where the similarity ends.

When I first walked into Elysium, I told everyone that I was here to break the mold, end the mundane routine, and inspire the fans in a way they had not been inspired in years. And I didn't hold back on exactly how I planned on doing that either. I made it perfectly clear that I was more than willing to use the combination of grace, beauty, and violence in which I am uniquely skilled to complete said mission. And that's exactly what I intend to do, and it's exactly where any similarity between us ends.

Because I'll do it, Veebs. I'll get in that ring, even with someone that I like, even with someone that I respect, and I will unleash pure, unadulterated violence. I'll do it without malice or shame, I'll do it without hesitation or reservation, I'll do it without a second thought. I will do all of this because it is exactly what I've always wanted to do, what I've always trained to do, and what I've done every single time I've stepped through those ropes. I will do it because I am a professional fighter and because I possess the type of killer instinct, that willingness to fight like everything is on the line, every single time, that you have continuously failed to demonstrate.

I'm not saying you don't have it in you, Vebby. Maybe you do. Maybe there's a beast inside you just waiting to be unleashed. But given the opportunity to open that cage in the past, you've fallen short. You're good in that ring, good enough to hang with the very best at least half of the time. But that's not good enough to stop me. Not by a longshot.

So, will this be when that animal comes out for the very first time, Vebbs? In a match against someone you like, someone you respect, someone you have already recognized is going to be the Ace both here in Elysium and anywhere else she competes? I don't think so. I'm sure there is a nemesis out there for you somewhere, one who will light the fuse of emotion that will set of the detonation inside of you that eventually leads to you unlocking your full potential, but it's not going to be me. And without that, you're gonna lose.

You made a point of letting me know that I wasn't going to be able to 'waltz' right over you, and you're right. Because I didn't come to Elysium to dance, Veebs. I came to fight. That's the difference between us, and it's the reason that you're going to go to sleep. And after it's over, I'll help you to your feet and we can go to the back and have a beer, no hard feelings. But you've never shown the sort of stuff it would take for you to stop me. You've got skill, you like being a professional wrestler, you love everything that comes with it all... but you're no killer. And at the end of the day, that's why you're going to lose.

I'm puzzled by you, Vebbins. I'm puzzled by how someone makes a career out of something that appears to rank so lowly on their list of personal interests. I'm puzzled as to how you can think that you're promoting a professional wrestling match while talking about almost everything under the sun except professional wrestling, and only part of the time be metaphorical. I'm puzzled how you can still not understand why people constantly question your seriousness or dedication to the sport that you do everything in your power to avoid making reference to. Most importantly, I'm puzzled how you yourself have never seemed to make a meaningful connection between your lack of focus and your record here in Elysium.

I mean, your third match here in this company, coming off of one singles and one tag victory since your company debut, was against Elina Cartel for the Hybrid Championship. You lost that match. A week later you lost again, this time to Boots Martin on her way to winning that Hybrid Championship. A week after that, Alyssa Daniels defeated you. It was at that point that Elysium went on hiatus, but when it returned on October 1st, you were again defeated by Elina Cartel. Then, perhaps since your last Elysium victory had been in a tag match back in January, you returned to tag competition... and were defeated again. Following that, the week I signed with the company, you were defeated in singles competition yet again, this time by 'The Titaness' Samantha Hamilton.

So, while you no doubt feel bolstered by the fact that you're coming off your first Elysium victory since the very first weeks of this year, it is also true that Kara Scene is not the professional wrestler she was when she appeared in the eWo years ago.

And I'm sure that you have justifications for these losses. I'm sure that you have a pocket full of reasons why you lost all of those matches here in this company. I'm sure that there has to be something you tell yourself, some way of rationalizing it all. Or maybe not. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe, at the end of the day, you really don't care. Maybe you're happy to get in front of the fans, entertain them, and get paid, all while continuing to fail to climb up the ladder in any meaningful way. Maybe you're one of those wrestlers who will flounder competitively their entire career, and be content to do so. It's a living, right? Sure, you'll never make any Hall Of Fames, sure, you may never hold a championship here in Elysium, but you're making money, apparently, enough to pursue all of your other interests. You seem happy.

And therein lies the important difference between you, me and the other Elysium wrestlers who have passed you by. We know Elina Cartel would never be able to be happy with a record like yours... of course, this is a woman whose spirit has broken every time her name has even been mentioned in the face of serious competition. Boots Martin, Alyssa Daniels, Samantha Hamilton? Far too driven to ever settle into mediocrity the way that you have.

And me? I can't even imagine ever finding myself where you now stand.

You mentioned Occam’s Razor... the idea that given any two outcomes, the one that requires the least speculation is usually better. Another way of saying it is that the more assumptions you have to make, the more unlikely an explanation. Now that we've laid down what the definition of that term is, you may want to steer clear of it, as given just about ANY situation in Elysium Pro, the one that requires the least number of assumptions or the least amount of speculation is that if Azurine Vabbins is involved in a match, she's gonna lose. You've got a superkick that that hits like being slapped in the face with a spatula? Really? I'm terrified. You're being more selective these days as to who you're using your Pearly Gatekeeper finisher against? Veebs, in your situation, you can't afford to be choosy. You can go on until you're blue in the face about how many weapons you think you have in that ring, but I'd be far more interested in hearing about the ones that have actually worked for you, the ones that have actually been effective against an opponent.

Gatekeeper. It's a good choice for you. You stand here at the bottom of the Elysium ladder, holding open the gate for those athletes who have the skill, the drive, the determination to actually climb the ladder in this company. Maybe someday you'll decide that you no longer want that to be your role. Maybe someday your attitude will change and your interests will change and you'll find that killer instinct that everyone keeps telling you that you just don't have. Or maybe you won't. Maybe you'll pitch a tent right here at the bottom of the ladder and just keep holding open that gate.

Funny thing is, I'm positive you'll be happy just the same.