Post by Helena Handbasket on Oct 22, 2017 15:37:10 GMT -8
Helena is on a one-wheeled skateboard, one of the thin wheeled street variety. Which she's controlling with a remote in her left hand. She wheels just past the camera and the backs up slightly, looking at the camera in what is very clearly mock surprise. She stops the board by lifting one foot off of it. The board lilts to one side and the wheel begins to burn rubber against the ground like a trapped nerd trying to get away from the school fat kid. Handbasket steps off entirely, the board goes rocketing un-controllably out from under her slim frame and off into the distance where you can hear crashing and dogs barking and someone yelling "My leg!" Helena grins and has the grace to look slightly abashed.
"Did I do that? I think I did, either way, what brings you all here? Actually, it's great timing. I kinda needed to do one of those public addresses anyway. Kinda like a state of address, a state of the in my pants address."
Helena pulls her metal covered yellow lensed goggles up off her face and onto her forehead, revealing bright blue eyes.
"I use to work with a guy that would have sued me for that joke. Dude has sexuality as a gimmick on lockdown, and an STD for a finishing move. That's enough about him and my past career, cause you and me, are all here to talk about the future....Future....Future."
Here she stops to hug herself around in the middle and starts to rock, her voice going squeaky at repeating future for a couple of moments until she straightens up and bursts out laughing.
"Sorry couldn't resist, anyway I followed some people to Elysium because the place looked liked it needed more people with a sense of humor. Especially since Alexa's all Rawr I'mma gonna eat babies now and stuff.....Seriously woman's kinda scarily temper snapped. I really haveta find out what managed to do that. If only so I can avoid it. One instance of having the utter shit kicked out of me a year is plenty enough for me. Anyway, while searching around I found out the best thing. The best....My buddy K-Remix and his sexual assault case waiting to happen, manager, are here!...Manager now right?...Uncle, cousin something in real life? Either way Diego you still owe me two shots and a grenade jump. I did it last time, and the time before that...Really just to not haveta deal with him."
She shrugs here, nonchalantly tossing her shoulders up to about ear height before looking at the camera again.
"Either way, I'm here now. BWF AND Mystic folded in half like wet cardboard. Not the best thing for a fledgling career ya know? Riley retired, Mighty Jo is having their kid...I'm BORED OUT OF MY SKULL....Sooo Elysium caught my interest because it's a non-gendered federation. I like that, had to deal with strict gender lines once....It made me itchy. What am I here for, you might ask? Well, I could strike out on my own, I've been a women's tag team champion. Which if you ask me is a little like being the best kid at fat camp...Not a real test of skill. Simply put, I'm just looking for a good time! Maybe teach Remix to get his flip on better."
With that she pulls her goggles back down over her eyes and does a quick succession of maybe five standing front flips and four standing backflips. After she completes the last backflip she rocks a bit and rubs her temples, with a laugh. She straightens up and whistles. Somebody tosses her skateboard back into the frame.
"Thing is, I'm here like all of you to continue making a name for myself. I'm just gonna go about it in a fairly roundabout fashion...How might you ask? Well that's a story for my next match promo, isn't it? Spoilers...." Here she quickly puts on a mock British accent that actually isn't half bad. "It's probably going to involve more tag team action if I can help it. I like having back up, look at me!....Scrawny ass white chick back up is a good thing. Listen the gist of this whole thing is...Eylsium, get ready to go to Hell.....In A Handbasket....With MMMMMEEE!"
With that, she stands on the skatebaord and hits the remote that has been in her hand this entire time, before rocketing out of frame like so many tits sailing directly for skyward bound on a bad day. This time it's definitely her shouting "my leg!" between bouts of laughter as the crashing sounds happen. Something, a shoe comes rocketing back into frame like a bad day seeking missile and hits the camera, making it crash to the ground and shutting it off.
"Did I do that? I think I did, either way, what brings you all here? Actually, it's great timing. I kinda needed to do one of those public addresses anyway. Kinda like a state of address, a state of the in my pants address."
Helena pulls her metal covered yellow lensed goggles up off her face and onto her forehead, revealing bright blue eyes.
"I use to work with a guy that would have sued me for that joke. Dude has sexuality as a gimmick on lockdown, and an STD for a finishing move. That's enough about him and my past career, cause you and me, are all here to talk about the future....Future....Future."
Here she stops to hug herself around in the middle and starts to rock, her voice going squeaky at repeating future for a couple of moments until she straightens up and bursts out laughing.
"Sorry couldn't resist, anyway I followed some people to Elysium because the place looked liked it needed more people with a sense of humor. Especially since Alexa's all Rawr I'mma gonna eat babies now and stuff.....Seriously woman's kinda scarily temper snapped. I really haveta find out what managed to do that. If only so I can avoid it. One instance of having the utter shit kicked out of me a year is plenty enough for me. Anyway, while searching around I found out the best thing. The best....My buddy K-Remix and his sexual assault case waiting to happen, manager, are here!...Manager now right?...Uncle, cousin something in real life? Either way Diego you still owe me two shots and a grenade jump. I did it last time, and the time before that...Really just to not haveta deal with him."
She shrugs here, nonchalantly tossing her shoulders up to about ear height before looking at the camera again.
"Either way, I'm here now. BWF AND Mystic folded in half like wet cardboard. Not the best thing for a fledgling career ya know? Riley retired, Mighty Jo is having their kid...I'm BORED OUT OF MY SKULL....Sooo Elysium caught my interest because it's a non-gendered federation. I like that, had to deal with strict gender lines once....It made me itchy. What am I here for, you might ask? Well, I could strike out on my own, I've been a women's tag team champion. Which if you ask me is a little like being the best kid at fat camp...Not a real test of skill. Simply put, I'm just looking for a good time! Maybe teach Remix to get his flip on better."
With that she pulls her goggles back down over her eyes and does a quick succession of maybe five standing front flips and four standing backflips. After she completes the last backflip she rocks a bit and rubs her temples, with a laugh. She straightens up and whistles. Somebody tosses her skateboard back into the frame.
"Thing is, I'm here like all of you to continue making a name for myself. I'm just gonna go about it in a fairly roundabout fashion...How might you ask? Well that's a story for my next match promo, isn't it? Spoilers...." Here she quickly puts on a mock British accent that actually isn't half bad. "It's probably going to involve more tag team action if I can help it. I like having back up, look at me!....Scrawny ass white chick back up is a good thing. Listen the gist of this whole thing is...Eylsium, get ready to go to Hell.....In A Handbasket....With MMMMMEEE!"
With that, she stands on the skatebaord and hits the remote that has been in her hand this entire time, before rocketing out of frame like so many tits sailing directly for skyward bound on a bad day. This time it's definitely her shouting "my leg!" between bouts of laughter as the crashing sounds happen. Something, a shoe comes rocketing back into frame like a bad day seeking missile and hits the camera, making it crash to the ground and shutting it off.
